It's Christmas-time

Well, ok, maybe not really, but it sure feels like Christmas.  We have a couple of inches of snow on the ground, the tree is up and waiting to be decorated, and the first couple of presents have been purchased.  Unfortunately, those presents were purchased by an eager 3 and almost 5 year old neither of whom can keep a secret worth a darn.  They are way too excited about their purchases to wait until Christmas, but I'm one step ahead of them.  I hid the presents.  I just hope I remember where I put them when the time comes!  Oh yeah, they're in the unplugged freezer.

Anyway, we are definitely in the spirit around here.  So, to celebrate, I made this printable to replace my keep calm and eat candy corn one from Halloween.  Love the old-fashioned Santa.  And, yes, around here, we do believe.

Keep Calm

Ok...so I know the "Keep Calm and..." saying is getting a little tired, but I still love it.  I think in a lot of ways it can be a fun and good reminder that we just need to keep our calm.  So, I spent some time doing one of the things I love doing - playing around with graphic design - and came up with my Halloween keep calm printable. When all else fails, just keep calm and eat candy corn.

Ah, fall

Every leaf speaks bliss to me, fluttering from the autumn tree.
~ Emily Bronte

Living with MS

“But you don’t look sick.”  That’s probably one of the biggest hurdles I face living with Multiple Sclerosis.  I’m one of the truly lucky ones whose progression is so minute it’s not very noticeable at all.  Physically, I’m doing alright.  But there are many hidden complications and issues that I deal with on a daily basis.  Complications and issues that most people tend to label as inattentiveness or indifference or ….  But I’m not indifferent or inattentive.  At least I don’t mean to be. 

Recently, the MS forum I belong to on Facebook linked up an article from the UCSF Multiple Sclerosis Center.  You can read the entire article here, but I thought I’d highlight the information as it pertains to me.  For instance, the UCSF MS Center claims that “45 – 65% of people living with MS experience problems with memory, attention, word-finding, problem-solving, or other cognitive functions as a symptom of the disease.”  Um.  Yeah.  That’s me.  I can be told something only to forget it a second later.  If it’s not written down (and it works better for me to write it down), then more than likely I’ll forget it.  And as far as attention, I’d say I’m hyper-attentive.  I get so focused on what I’m doing that everything and everyone else is non-existent.  I can only do one thing at a time and when I’m interrupted, well forget it.  Because more than likely, I’ll forget what it was I was focused on.  And then there’s word-finding.  I find more and more that I can’t remember simple names or terms for things.  My mind just shuts off or my lips can’t form the word I can kind of grasp in my memory.  For someone who loves words, this is hard to deal with.  I wasn’t an English major for nothing, but now my love of words fails me consistently.

The article also claims that “Cognitive difficulties can be particularly distressing for people because they are changes that nobody sees. Sometimes family, loved ones, or employers will believe that a persons forgetfulness or lack of attention are willful ignoring, rather than a symptom of the MS.”  Yes, it’s frustrating.  I understand that.  It’s frustrating for me, too, to realize that my cognitive abilities just aren’t there.  I can’t even have a decent fight with anyone because I’ll have feelings about an issue and know there’s something to those feelings, but I can hardly ever back it up with straight hard facts.  Because I JUST DON’T KNOW!  I don’t remember or I can’t find the right words.  So, of course it comes across like I’m making stuff up.  And then resentment kicks in for both parties.

There’s a lot more in the article about these cognitive difficulties, but I’m going to refrain from going through it.  I’ve given a lot of insight into what my life is like right now, but suffice it to say, that if you thoroughly read the article, you’ll have a better understanding of what I live with every day.  And if you want to know what you might be able to do to help me deal with it all, well, that’s in the article, too.  Because even though I’m physically stronger than a lot of people with MS, I do live with the disease and have some very real symptoms. 

I’ll get off my soapbox now.

Broken Ankle. An Update

Honestly, I would never wish a broken ankle on anyone...not even my most serious enemy.  And I would especially not wish a compound fracture on anyone.  It's horrible.  It's frustrating.  It's painful.  And to think, all I did was step off a stupid curb and twist my ankle.  And *poof* it broke and poked through the skin.  My friends tell me it was quite the sight.  Those that looked at it anyway.  One of my friends couldn't look at it, but that's ok.  I love her anyway.  I couldn't look at it either. 

After 5+ weeks of being non-weight bearing on my right ankle, I finally got the OK from the surgeon to start walking on it.  Hallelujah!  Finally, my life back!  I could start picking up the house and being the mom I'm supposed to be.  Yeah, in my dreams.  I still need a walker to get around.  If I don't use the walker, my ankle gives out on me along with my knee, and I tip over.  And since I'm using the walker, I can't carry anything.  So I still can't do a lot around the house.  And it hurts.  A lot.  Sigh. 

Will I ever feel like a normal person again?

Adventures of a not-so-super-mom::sept. 20 edition

That was almost my blog name.  I really wanted it to be.  But a quick google search brought up too many entries that were either that name or close to it.  So I found something else.  Something I hope reflects our goal as a family.  At least we try.

Anywhozzles, I am not a super mom.  Not even close.  Surprising?  Probably not.  My husband jokes that our family name should be changed to Yell.  We seem to do that a lot around here either because someone is doing something they shouldn't or to be heard over one of the three tvs.  In fact, I just yelled at Ruby because she wanted me to open a juice box but chewed the straw into oblivion so it was unusable to break into the only-can-be-operated-by-a-highly-trained-ninja.  I still tried.  Which resulted in spilling half the juice into my lap because I had to squeeze so hard to even attempt to break the seal.  Yeah, I don't really care for juice in my lap, so I yelled raised my voice wondering why on earth Ruby had to destroy this piece of plastic.  Of course, it meant that Ruby didn't get her juice.  So she cried.

But the best fairly recent example of me not being a super mom has to do with Cora.  She fell out of the bed the other night.  I heard her crying but didn't rush to her side - mostly because with my broken ankle I can't rush anywhere.  And also because she has turned into a little bit of a drama queen, so I was waiting to see what would happen.  Then my husband got up and rescued her before he left for job #1.  All was quiet again.  Then Cora woke up for the day and came out to my prison spot on the couch.  She was crying again because she had gone into the bathroom to go potty and saw her reflection in the mirror.  She was bothered by it.  And when she showed up to my spot on the couch, I could see why.  She had blood all over her face and a huge cut right below her eyebrow.  I don't know what she hit, but she obviously hit something when she fell off.  She didn't want anyone to look at her or touch anything but finally allowed me (with Daddy's help in holding her down) to clean up her face.  She pretty much spent the day on the recliner taking it easy.

And then there's this morning.  When she woke up, she couldn't open her eye.  By the way, if anyone knows how to convince a very stubborn opinionated almost five year old that icing her eye would be a good thing, let me know.  At any rate, if I had not ignored her cries waited to see what happened when she first fell, maybe I could have helped heal her eye better.  But to make THAT happen, I'd have to go back to August 19 and avoid breaking my ankle.  So, yeah.  I'm not a super mom. 

Forgive my delusions

I've always been a life chronicler.  I have boxes of old journals stashed away (probably never to be read again) and once I figured out Facebook, I quickly became addicted.  Like anyone really cares that I plan to do some research into the concept of gherkins.  Yeah.  My life isn't that interesting.  It isn't so much about who is reading this blog, but rather that sharing my life in any format is cathartic.  I hope someone reads this, but I'm ok with sending my thoughts and ideas out into cyberspace to mingle with all the other thoughts and ideas out there never to pass in front of someone else's eyes. 

Why am I starting this now?  Why not just put pen to paper?  While I have my photography blog (and, yes, I do share some personal stuff there),  I want to be able to share even more stories about my life as a mom to two little girls who are addicted to barbies and the color pink as well as a wife to my sports-lovin', motorcyle-ridin' husband.  It's also about my mom - my rock - the woman I hope to grow up to be like someday.  In early August she was diagnosed with blood cancer.  I need to process the ramifications of that somehow and my way has always been to write.  To document.  And as a life chronicler and photographer, I needed to find a medium that would combine the two.  Hence, this blog was born!

So forgive my delusions.  Who knows...you might find out why I conform to all the preconceived notions about epic bazookas.